Never Judge a Blade by Its Cover
by SuperPaperBag
Summary: When one of Arme's spells goes awry, Grandark gets inadvertently changed into a sort of humanlike form for a short time. A oneshot fic told in Grandark's POV about the sword's escapades.


Grandark had no idea when its wielder had first started calling it "Gran." It had just sort of happened at some point and the sword had become accustomed to it. By now it didn't even mind when the wanderer used the stupid nickname. It was quite annoyed, though, when anyone else attempted to call it "Gran"—Zero was the only one who had even come close to earning the right. This was yet another reason that Grandark abhorred the stygian currently sitting across from him and speaking with its wielder.

"It's Gran**dark** to you," the blade corrected Dio.

"I'll call you whatever I like," the magenta-haired demon stated bluntly. "Not like there's much you can do about it."

Oh, how Grandark desired a body. If he possessed a body, Dio would have been dead a very long time ago. For that matter, Oz and Void would have been dead a very long time ago as well. It would be so much simpler! But alas, Gran was still trapped in the shell of a pathetic sword, only able to use its magic as directed by its wielder and unable to move on its own. It was a pointless, boring existence, really. All it could do was watch boring people go about their boring lives while Zero remained as uninteresting as ever.

Well, that was not exactly true. Zero was becoming more and more interesting lately. While Gran would have liked to believe that he had caused that, the credit belonged to Dio. For that reason the sword had almost started to like the stygian—that had quickly ceased after the magenta-haired demon had started insulting the blade and changing Zero's way of thinking. Grandark had prided itself in being the wanderer's primary influence.

Suddenly a very loud noise similar to an explosion sounded from just above them. Such a thing was not very uncommon, as Arme's room was just superior to Zero's.

"Do you think we should go check on that?" Dio inquired, looking up at the ceiling.

The wanderer sighed slightly. "Yes, I suppose we should." Zero was reaching for the sword when the stygian cut him off.

"You're just going upstairs; you can leave the scrap metal here for five minutes, can't you?"

The silver-haired demon slowly retracted his hand. "…Are you alright with that, Gran?"

Just the thought of Dio convincing Zero to go without the sword angered Grandark tremendously. "Just go, fool!" it nearly shouted at its wielder. Oh yes, the Burning Canyon was just begging to have his core ripped out and shattered into millions and millions of little pieces; Dio's body maimed to the point that his corpse was unrecognizable. The blade comforted itself with the thought while Zero quickly exited the room beside the magenta-haired demon.

Grandark was just beginning to wonder what was taking its wielder so long to return when it noticed some strange purple smoke pervading the room. As the sword was placed with its eye straight up, Gran could see the smoke entering the room from the ceiling—likely it originated in the mage's room. The blade harrumphed softly and shut its eye. It was not concerned in the slightest about what failure of a spell Arme had whipped up this time.

* * *

Later...

* * *

After some time the sword opened its eye and instantly realized that something was amiss. Everything seemed…different. Gran was not sure exactly what was so changed; it was present nevertheless. Grandark assumed that it was probably some sort of strange aftereffects of that smoke the blade had seen earlier.

The sword then realized that Zero was still missing and sighed in irritation. The blade had lost all body heat it had received from being beside the wanderer and consequently was very cold at the moment. Grandark loathed the cold, and it could do nothing about it considering it was simply a piece of metal.

The blade sighed and, after absentmindedly noting that its voice had a bit less of an echo than usual, drifted back into sleep.

Gran was awakened again when it felt a gentle hand prodding near its eye. The sword instantly recognized the hand as belonging to Zero—after being the wanderer's sword for so long, it could recognize the silver-haired demon's touch anywhere. The sword instinctively knocked the hand away and muttered, "I'm sleeping."

It took the blade a few moments to realize what it had done. Gran quickly opened its eye and realized that it was actually seeing through two eyes now. No wonder its surroundings had looked different… Gran tested its newfound limbs by gently raising a hand in front of its face. It was greeted with the sight of a pale, slender arm draped in some sort of green cloth.

"…Gran? Is that you?"

"Of course it is."

"…Did you…break free of the blade…?"

The sword touched the raised arm with its other hand experimentally. The "skin" was solid, hard to the touch, and did not give off any heat. It was basically metallic. "It appears not. My form seems to have changed, not my body. Pity."

"How did this happen?"

"No idea," it lied, fascinated with the movement of the joints in his hands. Gran was fairly sure that the smoke it had seen before falling asleep was the cause of all this. "It certainly is an interesting development, though, isn't it? Did you find me like this?"

"Yes…although you were…naked. I had to dress you."

"Help me up," the sword ordered. After a moment it felt hand under what the blade guessed was its shoulders and Gran was lifted up into a sitting position. With a bit of effort the sword managed to raise itself to a standing position.

Grandark expected things such as standing to be difficult, but it subconsciously seemed to know how already. Hmm, perhaps it really did have a body before its soul was sealed… The sword shook off such thoughts and turned to Zero, who had already stood and was standing beside the blade. As Gran moved, it noticed a strange silvery, metallic thing reflecting light out of the corner of its vision. "What was that?" it asked. "That silver thing."

"I believe you are referring to your hair. When I found you in this state, it was quite long, so I tied it up for you."

"Oh." Grandark then noticed that it stood about an inch or two above the wanderer in height. The sword found it terribly amusing that for once it was looking down at its wielder.

"I assume you wish to see your own appearance…?"

The blade shook its head quickly. "I can already tell that this form, however it was achieved, is only temporary. I don't want to become attached to this form."

"I see…"

"The purple-haired one…she's a mage, right?"

"Yes."

"She would know how long something like this would last. Go get the answers from her."

Zero hesitated. "Are you sure I should leave? We do not know anything concerning your current condition…"

Grandark quickly reached out and grabbed the wanderer's ear, tugging on the appendage sharply. Zero instantly cringed in discomfort and remained perfectly still to avoid further pain from being inflicting on him. "Don't question me," it ordered.

No one but Gran (and perhaps Oz) knew that probably Zero's greatest weak points were his ears. The wanderer's ears were elven, and an elf's ears were incredibly sensitive. On one hand this allowed the silver-haired demon to hear better than a normal demon; however this also meant that any pain to that region was magnified.

"Yes, Gran," Zero stated blankly. "Now please…release me."

"Maybe. I kind of liked that reaction."

The wanderer suddenly knocked the sword's hand away from his ear. "I will go, but please treat me more respectfully," Zero stated. He then turned and left the room, over his shoulder requesting that the blade stay put in his room.

Grandark simply laughed to itself and absentmindedly inspected the small ding its wielder had left in its palm. The sword certainly was not going to remain confined in such a small room. Gran's first order of business was to irritate those who annoyed him on a regular basis. As almost all of the other chasers were currently out on missions, it was relatively easy for the blade to go about his business unnoticed.

First the sword procured all of Elesis' underwear and shoved it in various places in Ronan's room. It then killed all of the flora in Ryan and Lire's rooms, destroyed all of Amy's instruments, and tore all of Mari's half-created inventions to pieces. Gran switched the contents of Rufus' and Lass' rooms—Rufus was one of the least annoying of the chasers in the sword's mind—before quickly destroying all of the rather embarrassing Amy posters it found in Jin's room. As it wasn't sure exactly what to do in Ley's room, Gran eventually decided to just burn all the summoner's possessions to ashes and leave it at that.

The sword had left the best for last. Grandark's feelings for Dio extended far past petty annoyance and into full-blown hatred. It found the stygian in his room, the demon's butlers nowhere to be seen.

"'Not like there's much you can do about it,' huh?"

The stygian turned around quickly. "G-gran? What the hell is going on here?"

"How interesting you recognized me so quickly."

"There's only one being I know of with those eyes," Dio explained, flexing his rake hand. "If it's a fight you want, I'd be happy to help."

Grandark did not bother with a verbal response; instead it initiated the fighting. The blade had to give the stygian a little credit; Dio did manage to hold his own for quite a while and actually succeeded in leaving a few dents in the blade's body. However, the demon was quickly running out of mana and options.

The Grandark's power was immense, and the sword knew how to use it. For another thing, Gran was still made of the metal that composed its sword body, which could withstand the power of the gods. Also, the sword had discovered a while ago that in its current form Gran could make its limbs become as sharp as its blade by directing a bit of mana.

The sword watched in amusement as its opponent slowly began to weaken. It watched as the formerly proud magenta eyes of the stygian slowly began to appear desperate; as the magenta-haired demon began to look towards the door and windows for some sign of escape. Unfortunately for Dio, Gran had used a few simple enchantments over the exits. If the Burning Canyon had been a full strength he could have easily gotten away; however Dio currently wasn't, and therefore he was royally screwed.

Despite his somewhat dire situation, the stygian continued to taunt and banter with the sword. Crimson blood stained the front of Grandark's loose green robe. Dio's breathing was ragged and shallow; the demon's body was enveloped in a mixture of his own sweat and blood.

"I never think I'd lose like this to you, Gran," the stygian stated with a shaky laugh.

The sword raised a hand and placed the pads of its fingers against Dio's neck. Currently each finger was sharper than any mortal blade. By applying only the slightest bit of pressure to the stygian's skin, Gran instantly drew blood. "As I said before, it's always been Gran**dark** to you." The sword was just about to use all of its strength to make a clean cut across the demon's neck when a familiar hand knocked the blade's arm away. The same hand then pushed forcefully against Gran's chest, causing it to stumble back a bit.

Zero now stood between Grandark and Dio, the wanderer's arms spread wide. It was clear to the sword that the silver-haired demon would not move as long as Gran still intended to kill the stygian. Dio collapsed moments later.

"You know, I could just kill you, too," the blade stated with a small, dark chuckle.

"You will not."

"How do you know?"

The wanderer stared back coolly and elucidated, "In thirty minutes you will revert to your sword form. If you kill me, there will be no one to wield you, and you will be trapped in the vessel of a blade, forced to repose where you fall, until another is created that can carry you. You **need **me, Gran, just as I need you."

"…You never were any fun." Grandark lowered its hands and stood perfectly still. "Now what?"

"Stand in the corner. I do not want you interfering whilst I tend to Dio."

"Fine, whatever." The blade moved to the corner of the room and simply stood there. It absentmindedly watched as Zero quickly dealt with the wounds the sword had inflicted, noticing that the wanderer moved with the ease of practice. Gran reasoned that its wielder must have gotten injured more times in the past than it originally thought.

Eventually the wanderer sighed and sat back on his heels, indicating he had done all he could.

"He didn't die or anything, did he?" Gran inquired casually.

"He will be fine."

"Would you be upset if I did kill him?"

"Yes," Zero replied calmly.

"Would you be angry with me?"

"Perhaps."

"Can we leave now?"

"No, I have to remain here and monitor his condition." The wanderer seated himself against the wall near Dio. After a few moments Grandark walked over and sat next to its wielder.

The blade leaned against Zero's side and stated, "Don't get the wrong idea; I'm just using you for the body heat."

"Of course."

A long silence followed, eventually broken by the sword. "If you're waiting for some kind of apology, you'll be waiting eternally," Grandark stated.

"I understand," the wanderer muttered softly. Zero paused for a few moments before asking, "Were you always like this, Gran?"

"I don't know."

"What do you mean?"

Zero had asked about the sword's past several times, but Grandark had never before answered any of its wielder's questions. This time, though, the blade was in a bit of a better mood, considering it had just almost killed someone it hated, was currently able to move on its own, and was finally being warmed after being cold for so long. "Well, I don't recall anything before being placed in this sword body. I'll say what I will about that old wizard you call master, but I have to admit he's pretty smart. When my soul was unsealed he got rid of my memories, and before I was unsealed Oz made sure to get rid of any and all information relating even remotely to who I was. My soul had been sealed a very long time ago, as well, so anyone old enough to know of me would be around Oz's age—and you know as well as I do that it's rare for one to live to be Oz's age."

"So you know nothing of what you were like before?" the wanderer confirmed.

"Pretty much. Considering the lengths Oz went to in order to be sure I never discovered my past, though, I assume that I was some sort of diabolical genius or something. Maybe I broke apart continents or assassinated someone important. I don't know. "

Zero was silent for a moment. "You could have been a philanthropist for all we know. To my understanding, all powerful souls were sealed, regardless of how the soul's owner behaved. Perhaps Master Oz did not want you to know your past so that you would better focus on defeating Void."

"Hmph. I guess."

Grandark was silent as it watched the silver-haired demon change Dio's bandages. When Zero was finished, the sword inquired, "The part about me having only thirty minutes left…that wasn't a bluff, was it?"

"No. Arme was not present in her room, so I did a bit of research using her spell books. By my calculations you now have about fifteen minutes left. Will you miss the form you currently possess?"

The blade thought about it for a moment. While it had been quite fun to be able to move again, Gran currently did not have a true body. If anything, the little experience had only whetted the sword's desire for a true body. "I don't know," Grandark answered honestly. "Since we're asking questions, would you be upset if I somehow died?"

"Of course," he stated matter-of-factly. "You have been with me ever since I was created."

Grandark was silent. It was surprised to notice that it was almost…pleased hearing the wanderer's response. How curious. The blade had always seen Zero as a good kid. He had always treated the sword with respect and took good care of the Grandark. Despite the wanderer's faults (which were innumerable), the sword's wielder was still better than most of the demons Gran had the misfortune of meeting. "Well Zero, I guess you're not that bad yourself. If I do end up taking over the world sometime in the future, I might actually let you live. Perhaps as a degrading manservant."

"…Oh."

In the end, Grandark did return to sword form. When Dio awoke, it was discovered that the stygian had lost his short term memory due to hitting his head when he collapsed and had no recollection of the sword's attack. Zero felt as though it was better to let Dio believe he had simply got into a fight and returned to his room to recover. The other chasers arrived home to discover the blade's hijinks, but never identified the actual culprit. Instead, after seeing the claw-like marks everywhere and hearing that Dio had no alibi, the others assumed it had been Dio, despite the fact that the magenta-haired demon was injured and still recovering at the time. As punishment the stygian was forced to allow Ley into his room until the summoner's was repaired. Even from several rooms over Grandark could hear Dio's agonized complaints and shouting.

The sword was rather pleased with itself.

* * *

Author's Notes:

-That certainly took a lot longer than I thought! Anywho, here's another oneshot for ya.

-Yes, Gran certainly has some...issues. It's been trapped in a sword for a very long time and doesn't know anything about it's past-it kinda has the right to be messed up.

-Ok, there are a few little hintings of pairings in here, but don't take it seriously. It was basically for comedic effect. xD

-I'm not great at descriptions, so I never had Gran's humanlike form really described in detail. Just use your imagination, my readers. xD

-Yeah, that smoke from Arme's room is basically just thrown in there to change Gran's form. I have no idea what she was intending to do when she made that. lol.

-As always, quite a bit of this is totally made up. Tolerate it please, bros. xD Also as always, if you've read my other stories this story will make much more sense.

-Ok, Gran mentions that it put up spells to keep Dio from escaping. Zero could still get in the room because he wasn't weakened like Dio was.

-Alright, I'm just wondering this, but am I bothering/offending the other Zero fans or something? Before I started publishing stories on this site, the number of fanfictions with Zero as the main character or one of the main characters was slowly starting to increase, but after I started publishing the Zero fans just...stopped updating and posting more stuff. I dunno, maybe it's not me at all. I was just thinking.

-Anywho, thanks for reading and such. Special thanks to Fasanation Rose for conversing with me during the making of this fanfiction/strange crack dream.


End file.
